Emma's Story

A confident, happy young woman and a student at university - it always surprises new friends when I tell them I am a Manic Depressive. Especially when I explain it has involved being an involuntary patient in a psychiatric hospital, months of severe depression and a near successful attempt to commit suicide.

It began when I was 19. Within a week of an extremely buoyant arrival at university I had withdrawn into my room, stopped eating and stopped talking. I was having vivid hallucinations, intense paranoia and 'knew' I had to kill myself. Fortunately the university authorities intervened after about a week, having been alerted by one of my friends, and I was whisked away to hospital.

Although at the time my nervous breakdown was sudden and unexpected - with the benefit of hindsight it is easy to see that I had been manic in the months prior to going to university. I displayed common symptoms such as not sleeping, being argumentative and having a strong sense of superiority, but neither I nor my family had the knowledge or experience we have now to recognise them.

After only three weeks spent in hospital, I went home to my parents' house which gave me the opportunity to have as much time and space as I needed to get better. Since returning to university, with the help of my GP, I have slowly reduced my medication until now I am not taking any. The important factor is learning to recognise and control symptoms. Despite their initial complete mis-apprehension of my illness, the support and patience of my family and close friends has been, and still is, essential.

When re-applying to university, and since I have been back, I have been aware of the stigma which surrounds mental illness. My university wanted a psychiatrist's prognosis before accepting me, despite good references and excellent exam results. I came in the top three of my year last year proving their reservations to be quite unfounded.

I believe it is very important to educate people about mental illness, not only to enable people to get help early and quickly, but also to defeat ignorant misconceptions. I am now involved in campaigning towards achieving these ends.

Finding out about my manic depression has not been negative at all - like they say,
'Life Begins .....'