The Albatross

The day that I was diagnosed as "manic depressive" was the happiest day of my life. I`ll pause here while you stare in disbelief at this statement, re-read it and think to yourself, "Oh, surely not? She really must be loony!" Well, it most certainly was a momentous, joyous relief to actually have confirmed what I had always known since I was a child, although I was 33 when diagnosed. It seemed as if a massive weight was suddenly lifted off my shoulders and I consider that day, seven years ago, was when I actually started living.

I thought that I could return to normal life as I was coping well and responsibly with the condition: I took my medication conscientiously and attended Whitchurch Hospital for regular blood tests and check ups. My personal health was very good. Also, I was very fortunate in that I had always been actively encouraged and supported positively all along the long road to recovery, recuperation and eventual return to work by numerous people, namely, the fantastic staff at Whitchurch Hospital (my "home" on several occasions during the past twelve years - many of the staff becoming good friends), my mother who was an absolutely patient tower of strength without whom I couldn't have survived, a very understanding boss and colleagues at work, and marvellous friends and neighbours. They all thought I could put that period behind me and regain a normal life.

BUT society in general certainly has other ideas as far as mental health problems are concerned. You are soon made to realise that, "Once a mental patient, always a mental patient." And boy! They don't let you forget it! (Do you find someone constantly referring to your gall bladder operation seven years on?) Isn't it about time that society allowed this Victorian "albatross" of a label to be lifted once and for all from around the necks of all those people who have suffered from a mental condition sometime in their lives? Some, like myself, are diagnosed with a specific condition and cope very well by taking medication for the rest of their lives. Others, in fact the vast majority of people who are admitted to psychiatric hospitals, have suffered just a one-off highly stressful situation in their lives, such as bereavement, redundancy or divorce. Once they have spent a recuperative period of time in hospital, they recover and never suffer from mental problems again.

Basically what it comes down to is modern society's fear and ignorance of the whole issue of mental illness, the biggest culprits being the media and employers. Why not, for a refreshing change, look at the positive aspects of mental health? In particular, what is urgently needed is more positive information regarding all aspects of mental health issues generally, such as a "lay person's guide" to individual mental health conditions, self-help groups, how people have successfully learnt to live with or recovered from their condition, successful accommodation and work schemes, and how Occupational Therapy and the Employment Service help people back into the workplace. This would help to demystify the whole "taboo" subject of mental illness and would show the general public that the vast majority of people who have suffered with mental health problems are both able and productive members of society - dispelling the myth that once you have been a mental patient you are automatically useless and washed up for good.

At present the media tend to highlight items on mental health only when the story is sensational or extreme, usually involving violent behaviour. This small minority of cases gives a very false impression to the public of an average patient's experience.

What is desperately needed is the formal recognition of the needs of people with mental health problems by the introduction of official legislation along the same lines as that for physically disabled people. But this is not likely to happen in the foreseeable future. However, mental health self-help groups, pressure groups and associated bodies are constantly pressing for its introduction to protect people with mental health conditions against the discrimination and prejudice which they constantly face. Personally I shall be eternally grateful for my past experiences in that they gave me a rare chance to take time out from the "rat race" called twentieth century living, to think through and evaluate my life and priorities, and make me listen to and be more understanding of other people's problems. I believe they have made me a more considerate, well-rounded, much better person to know. As I remarked to my mother some time after my first stay in hospital, "I feel sorry for people who haven't had a breakdown."

I little imagined that I would be forced to retire at the age of 38 on the grounds of ill health, even though I had not had a spell in hospital for a clear two years and during that time had not been absent from work because of it. This was totally against my will, I may add, and occurred after twenty years of service to the same employer at a time when I was just becoming a most useful employee to them in terms of experience. This unhappy episode left me feeling very bitter and angry but, after a period of coming to terms with my new situation, it has made me even more determined than ever to work in any way I can to destroy the stigma of mental illness and to further the cause of rights for people with mental health problems. What happened to me was blatant prejudice and discrimination, and over the years I have seen many very capable friends and acquaintances similarly thrown on the employment scrap-heap. This situation makes me so very angry. It's a terrible waste of the country's talent and resources!

In this age of growing unemployment, resulting in the inevitable stresses and strains which this entails, research has confirmed that incidents of mental illness are on the increase. As a result of which, in future, people should not be so smug as to think that this kind of condition will never affect them.

People should not have labels stuck around their necks forever such as "loony, not all there, twp, daft, mental, mad," but should be accepted as people who suffered an illness that has affected not a specific organ in their bodies but the whole person, and therefore their personality. They should be able to return to living as normal a life as possible. In my personal opinion, people who have had this kind of condition are usually more sensitive, thoughtful, capable and creative than the average so-called "normal" person.

Janice
Member of Cardiff MDF Pendulum Group
October 1994